contimplative

I am in a contemplative mood i got home and passed out on my bed. i couldnt sleep b/c i was contemplative. i was thinking about everything. how you give up one thing and take on onther. and how that makes you feel and evyrhint g. like if your a smoker and you give that up but then you take up drinking they both are bad for you and thjey both kill you, but the alch. a little less faster then smoking. I was also thinking about modeling and acting and NYC and how i promissed something to myslef, i was think ing about how people run away but never really get away from the thing that they are running from. its already in your mind so why run from it? you never treuly get away no matter how far or were you go its still there. I was thinking about how every bad thing always has a good thing. But hte good never seems to last with me. I was also thinking about how my world could crash and crumble and how to prevent that, i will not go down the road i have been so many times, i can't do drugs b.c. i dont want to, and i have seen how they mess alot of people up like alot of my friends, plus you dont know what your doing when your tripped on acid or pcpc that shit jsut takes you out to far as for coke im not one for nose action and herioin yeah im not fond of needles. I wont turn to alch. b.c. noone can buy it for me and i dont want to do anything stupid, and im not going to be permisuase b.c im afraid of sex and stuff. so that leaves me with alot of bad things eliminated. I am sure that i wont go down that road i mean kait should be there if i break and she wont let me do that. I dont think i will break i ahve control overm my life right?????? im really cold right now like freezing and i have a long sleeve shirt on lovely! i have been cold lately hmm...owell i'll deal. i have been reasearching a bunch of things lately to keep mysefl ocupuied, of course its in school but i can use it for a report or something. I found out that a freind of my moms carrie knows russian i was so pumped i so have to talk to her!! Jason and I are going to CL on sat. this will be fun it is going to be fun! i want to take him to mamabears and hetricks, and hanks have to go to hanks! best plce for ice cream!! plus were going to see g-ma , g-pa and aunt b and uncle L so this will be nice!!

so i took this test thing about birthdays and this iswaht i cme out with...
.9 - THE PERFORMER 9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley McLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley