breakdown #1 i knew it would come

today at dinner hwen asked wha ti was going to do for college i said a few college names and some majors and minors my dad replyed " you dont know wha tyour doing" " ur goin to be living under some bridge hoeing it" i gave him this evil look aparently and he was lik e" dont give me tha tlook its ture" HELL FUCKING NO IT ISNT TURE.so i barely speak to him the rest of the night. i cant beleave he said that to me i mena yeah sure he has said stuff like this before emplying hta ti was going to be a stripper and shit but no i am not and you know what with or with out your help probably with out i will go to colege and get a master and live a happy life away from pa and away from family. i am slowly figureingout they are smoothering me adn i am sufficating i cant take it. i am about to break and there is noone here to pick up the pices, i dont want to go talk to ms. watson b/c i dont want to bother her and cry infront of her. i cant take the emotional abuse anymore. i have put up with to much fucking abuse already with tony and don im not puttin gup with it form my family the people who love me. why is it that when someone says "i love you" that it usualy comes with a bruse or unpleasent feelings?? i cant wait unitl Dec 17 b/c i am gone on the 20th. i dont know were i am going well i know two places. im shaking right now and i cant stop. a freind of mine told me to run and dont let them (cops) cvatch you until your 18 then they cant do anything. i want to run but im not going to. i would have absolutly no were to go. im stuck i have noone and nothing. noone has my back for a sure thing. and th eones who do i know that they are my trei friends and will be there no matter what. my world is crumbling and the glass garden is being smashed to pices. if i have to give up my middle-upper class lifestyle i will. i cant beleave he sadi that to his own daughter. i cant forgive him for that. i wont. i can put up with being physicaly abused but i cant put up with being mentaly abused my psych just cant take that. how dare he. they say they care yeah right from that comment you care alot. only 6 months and 2 weeks.