somehting is on my mind and i will let it go until further notice i have made a new werbsite4 thingie that lmakes about 7 lol whhhooppie do!. its getting clos to proma dn i am gettign exxcited but i am not b.c tha tmeans jason gleaves fin like a week this is ont good but we will make it. i am determined. i need to update more often i just have been busy in IT class. gr

contimplative

I am in a contemplative mood i got home and passed out on my bed. i couldnt sleep b/c i was contemplative. i was thinking about everything. how you give up one thing and take on onther. and how that makes you feel and evyrhint g. like if your a smoker and you give that up but then you take up drinking they both are bad for you and thjey both kill you, but the alch. a little less faster then smoking. I was also thinking about modeling and acting and NYC and how i promissed something to myslef, i was think ing about how people run away but never really get away from the thing that they are running from. its already in your mind so why run from it? you never treuly get away no matter how far or were you go its still there. I was thinking about how every bad thing always has a good thing. But hte good never seems to last with me. I was also thinking about how my world could crash and crumble and how to prevent that, i will not go down the road i have been so many times, i can't do drugs b.c. i dont want to, and i have seen how they mess alot of people up like alot of my friends, plus you dont know what your doing when your tripped on acid or pcpc that shit jsut takes you out to far as for coke im not one for nose action and herioin yeah im not fond of needles. I wont turn to alch. b.c. noone can buy it for me and i dont want to do anything stupid, and im not going to be permisuase b.c im afraid of sex and stuff. so that leaves me with alot of bad things eliminated. I am sure that i wont go down that road i mean kait should be there if i break and she wont let me do that. I dont think i will break i ahve control overm my life right?????? im really cold right now like freezing and i have a long sleeve shirt on lovely! i have been cold lately hmm...owell i'll deal. i have been reasearching a bunch of things lately to keep mysefl ocupuied, of course its in school but i can use it for a report or something. I found out that a freind of my moms carrie knows russian i was so pumped i so have to talk to her!! Jason and I are going to CL on sat. this will be fun it is going to be fun! i want to take him to mamabears and hetricks, and hanks have to go to hanks! best plce for ice cream!! plus were going to see g-ma , g-pa and aunt b and uncle L so this will be nice!!

so i took this test thing about birthdays and this iswaht i cme out with...
.9 - THE PERFORMER 9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley McLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

Geisha?

SO i was goign to 1st math today and i saw stephers like i usually do and the first words out of her mouth are"Adrianne you look so HOT today,OMG you loko like a geisha" and i was liek a waht? adn she was like its a japanese madame and i was like ow thanks! and she was like i look like a bumb adn i was like i will look hot tomarrow adn we can look hot togeth. so i went in to math and told toni and she was like geishas are like legal whores and i was like opps haha owell i think i look good today. she was like you do lol geishas arnt bad.I'm gonig to bean today hopefully!! yippie shawn and ken are playing. shawn was like "you have to come i never see you adn when i do its in school adn we dont talk
' i was like "ok shawn i will come hear youplay" and he was like "you better" so i guess i am going to bean, besirdes i hace to go to return "the saracen blade" by frank yerby. i havnt finished it but i will someother time i am really into the angels and demons book well i have a lot of IT work so i am out till later cyeah. pook- good luck with deviante behavior

For once i did NOT do it

For once i actually did NOT break the Computer WOOT WOOT for me!!!! So i wake up adn my dad is like "adrianne come here for a sec" adn i was like ok so i roll out of bed and put a bra on adn go into his office. As soon as i walk in i smell smoke like a burning smell. and he is like "take a whiff of the air do you smell anything" me "yeah it smells like somethign is burning" *we both look at the computer modem* Him: i think its the Computer Me: *goes over sniffs, then twitches noise* "Yep i think your right" Him: i think it might finaly be going, Me: stares and mkes a small sound him: *dose some weird grunt thing* i dont care anymore, i really dont" Me: *in my head* Damn it now i have to buy a laptop, this puts a damper on my money/denver situation grrrr stupid comp. Me adn Him : i think it should be turned off Him: kiss the computer goodbye, its gone. Me: mmmmmm.....

So he wasnt mad so i am possitive it was NOT me this time a.) i wasnt on it last, b.) he wasnt mad, c.) he didnt say "Adrianne, what did you do to the computer this time"
or somthing of that nature, d.) he wasnt mad he was more of a calm i really dont care anymore type mood and finaly e.) i wasnt on it last ...i am glad that it for once wasnt me so no stress about the comp but i cant update anything except the blog and i can only check the gmail account so i switched my blog comments to that, so i can see them and send adn get e-mails at the gmail account divmoongoddess no "n" lol. ok so yeah grr for the computer and the burning smell.

other news i didnt sleep at all last night like i dont know waht wasw wrong with me it was like a drank a pot of coffee last night before bed i was so tired btu yet i didnt sleep at all untill like 3 am then i woke up at 6 so 3 hours for me yet i am fully awake and happy not about the comp btu i am happy non the less. i got to see jason last night and that madee me happy, we had a nice time he stopped by for dinner and we chilled untill 9 so YAY! I am really gonig to miss him when he moves but it wont hit home for a little while until like the day or week he is left and i wont see him. but i am determined to make it work adn make our relatioship last so this i will do, i always have sucess at the things i am determined to do, plus i always get my way (onlychild syndrum). so i have faith that we can make it work. Casey's (in Ciruqe) sister Leah my other cusin (not in Cirque) she has a b/f who is going to college in FL. and they have been dating for almost 5 years so that can work, she is in OH but haping to ghet a job in NC with a gym (coaching gymnastics) she is also the one who tried college away from homa dn didnt like it but then again everyone in the family says i am like casey and casey never got to college i mean she went but hated it so....i dont knwo but casey and i anrt good in school but we are kick ass in the arts and performance department so i guess that is very good b/c not to many people are good at that. well i'm out till tomarrow unless i go to the library and update mroe so the IT teacher is wathcing later!! Jason KIT (keep in touch) LOL via phones love yeah!

My Ring Came

yay the rings came that i ordered of the net, yesterday so i called jason and was al excited. its a claddagh ring woot woot. im glad you liked. So my dad took me driving yesterday adn i drove all around i swaer cars and those hugh utility crap love to jsut be parked and come at me. grrr to them. i want to drive more often my arents are going to let jason( if he wants to) take me driving so i can get hours and stuff in. dude i can actually go on raods and stuff. when i got back my dad was like your ready all you need is practice. and i imidiatly called jason and was like dude so ick ass balhc balh and told him about it. well i g2g i;ll write more later on today

My Ring Came

debate

i have a speech due adn i am using a prep day. thank god i have aniep for that. anyway mrs b is talkignabotu kr. daloyia yelling at someone. Anyways im bored and hungry lunch is next so i think i might get somethign depending on what there is to eat. My mom is tring to talk me out of Denver by saying what if you two fight and then you wont have anyone to go aroud wth,"what if you get sick i cant fly down to see you adn take care of yo who will take care of you?", " What if you and jason fight then you get sick and then what?" "you will really miss us, even if you two love eachother there is nothing like a parental bond" blah blah and more so i was like you wentto NC for ollege and then she was like "yeah but i got home sick and went back home" me well i think i can do it i can manage in denver alone and by yslef besides if jason and i fight it wont last long and if it dose even if i got sick and was near death i am sure he would come adn visit until you got out i mean he would check on me nomatter how pissed we were at eachother" mom: i dont knowyou neverknow i jsut dont want you to leave i know how you get when your alone adn depressedand i dont want you to have a hard college life iyou have fought so hard to live now adn have been through so much i dont want you to have to fight out in denver." me dont worry about it its a year away. bells about to ring i will wirte more leter

vegan

blah i am goin to be a vegan if it kills me no more meat forever i am done with it it is discusting like many other things none what so every. tom i don't give a crap if you have amo no meat BLAH! im goin vegan when i get out to denver but until then i will settle for veggitarian. alot of stars are and that is well worth the while b/c no cancer and very healthy lifestyle. i might drop some weight but i guess tha tis good for summer and i need to start exersicing more. my kids are goinm to be vegans yep. i spent way to much time on PETA and GO VEGEN today can you tell? i was chillin' at school i got up late so tha tsucked i was ubber tired and wolfman was like YO you siad "neato" girl your wawesome im like yep that is me. i wasn t to go in to fashion but i am looking in to all sorts of marketing othat is good tha tis what my parents and my aunt b and uncle lewie want me to go in to. can you tell that they are (aunt b and uncle L) are like peiople that are like my 2nd parents. so they are importnad and i don twant to dissapoingt them. or anyone else in my life...hopefully i wont.

army?

so um i was in math today and that was 1st pd then this army recruter came in and was talkign and then he showedvideos adn it make me want to sign up not to mention we started to talk abotu russia and blowing thigns up and i was like acan i blow things up adn receieve the same training ads a man dhe was lik eyeah if you go in to his programj blah ablha balha and iw as like kick asss this si sweet so your saying i can go to college and train in the army and blopw things up and play with fire. he was like " yeah, also you can contiuneally blow thing sup if you contine in the army for explosives ________ person " as a job aodn i was like "WOOOHOOO" then he was like you like to blow things up and i was like YEP. and it was funny then the bell rang and i left. Then i was talking and walking with toni and toni was like "adrianne i can see you go in to the army adn be liek the movie legaly blonde" and i was like " dude i would be so cute in a uniform and i would all design this realyl hot army uniform and be like bang bang bang boomboomboomboomboomboom with a big automatic and stuff" toni was like odear./ then i was telling sheila abotu it and she was lke " dude they would be crazy to sign you up adn atrain you in that and i waslike uhhuh but they dont know that.
my weekend was awesome i had so much fun. We should do it again, and the bell might ring so i wll type more when i get home.

childhood memories were are you?

ok so i wrote a poem about foamy and his wrath wootwoot for me. i have felt inferior to somone that i shouldnt feel inferior too i have no clue why i feel this way. (no jason it isnt you at all) it is gettign annoying and old fast so i need to stop thinking and just be me. I was tlaking to steph about it in lunhc adn yesterday and she was like why do you feel liek this you have no reason to feel like this your so much more. Adrianne you shouldnt feel this way. so i am not goign to let myslef feel this way anymore. I have been feeling out lately i feel so immature and it is bugging the hell out of me. yes,granted i am only 17 but damn. I dont know i am making up for a lsot chilhood i guess, somethign that i haev never had. I relaized this when Jason took me to cokesbrugh and was reminesing, that was a fun day thank you. Jason you have so many memories of chilhood good and bad alike, some more then others but you can remember them. I have so very few that part of my life has been blocked out its remains absent. i cant remember it only a few memories but nothing more. i dont know why maybe its becuase i was forced to grow up maybe it is becuase i was around all adults...i just dont know. i dont feel it is "normal" that i cant remember hardly any of my childhood jsut little pices. its like borken glass they dont fit and you want to them to but it won't work until you have all the pieces. i dont even know why i am writting this and thinking about my nonexistant childhood. i know i have had one and i know that is a fact i have pictures to but i cant remeber it. you were right about the parents and how if they arnt home, at least one isnt home then the child or children suffer, as much as i hate to admite it you were right.

Im in Math 1sty period and was asking Ben M abut Grad gifts for a guy. so this is how we got on the topic of out graduations next year b/c they are already planed except for the dates, and times.

Ben M : "Adrianne your going to my graduation next year right?"
Me: "Yup, your coming to mine too right?"
Him: "definatly"
*pause*
Him: "Europe or Carribean"
Me: Eruope is nice only partial and Caribean is liek Islands adn they are nice all the time so Carribean, Why?"
Him: "QMII"
Me: "THAT is a grad gift???"
Him: "no that is were i am having my grad party"
ME: "HOW?"
Him: "its only family and like a few friends" (dosne't have many that i know of)
Me: "oh so its a week long cruse/grade party on the Queen Mary II sweet"
Me: "mine is at my house or my Aunt carlars bar/ resturant"
Him: "haha that is totally fine i will def. come"
Him: "so your still coming to mine right?"
Me: "hmmmm let me think, boring grad parties or QMII cruise with Ben M., family and few friends. QMII"
Him: *laughes* alright i will let you know the dates adn times and everything closer to summer"
Me: "Dude this will be my first cruse"
Him: "haha are you seriouse?"
Me: (jokingly) "yes, oh wealthy one"
we both laugh
Him: "Adrianne your funny"
Me:"uh-huh"
Me: " so i still dont knwo wht to get for a grad gift"
Him: " Skiis"
Me "he dosnt skii"
Him: "Oh, ok um money"
Me: Climing equiptment"
Him: "Huh"
Me: " he said he wanted to learn to mtn climb"
Him" gander mtn"
Me: "kick ass"

I feel bad Ben is a really nice person and he has no friends b/c everyone thinks he is snobbish and he absolutly hates preps, yet he dresses like them but with more style hmmm go figure. he is an outsider in his on society. Welcome to the good ol' USA.

well enough abotu that i am in IT class and it is boring last night i sent info to 7-8 diffrent colleges adn they are all in near denver. so woot woot.
list of colleges form nearest to Denver adn by tuition cost:
1. Metropolitan State College of Denver, Denver Co
2. Devry Univ denver, Denver Co
3. Univ of Denver, Denver Co
4. Regis Univ, Denver, Co
5. Colorado Christian Univ, Lakewok, Co
6. Univ of Colorado at Boulder, Bolder Co
7. Noropa College, Boulder Co.
8. Cambridge College, Aurora Co

so those are the lists of colleges that i requested info from so far i am still tring to find a college in Denver that i want to go to that has some if not all of these majors and or minors offerd.
fashion
bussiness
marketing
computer stuff
int'l affairs

gamil?

grrr i think i need to activate my gmail account b/c it is saying that there is no user via that name owell i will do it when i get home still cant figure out how to get to the hotmail account on schools comp. hmmm...i will figure it out someday. ok so i am giong to work 2 hrs each day till sat. and i will have enough to get my prom ticket woot woot now i need to figure out when they stop sales for that. stephers is going with this dude from the play grawl to her.
Toni, Jason and I are goign to either go to the cafe in charloroy, Bean or the quiet storm this weekend or friday or somethingGuesseppi can't go b/c he is on tour grr to him but at least he is donid gwaht he loves so that is good. so its jsut us three. i asked toni adn she was like kick asss that would work im happy now i have something to do this weekend so woto woot. and i told her jason is dressing goth one day hopefully a day he will tell me cuz i have a niffty shirt i want to wear. um... yeah.... my comp is fixed yay yay. happy me more cool things to screw with on this im happy. it is goign to be so hard for me to screw it up now woot woot. thank you agian and that is the last i am going to say, promise. this weekend was alright. i had a nicer time sunday and friday...sat at night at my house but the day nope. T2 left yesterday he stoped over to say bye adn that was sad i'm gunna miss him he is hilarious and down to earth he's a good person. so i dont know when i will see him next prob the summer or whenever he comes back again hopefully for ashley. Jason and T2 need to come uup and when they do bring eachother therefor ash and i will be happy and we can all chill etc. i cant wait to get out of school adn the summer then to get out of school adn college it is goign to be a horribly long yeatr next year its goign to be hell from may 13 to aug ?. but it will work i will make it work, it has too. i have a kickin' quote form avril but it isnt with je so i will post it today when i get home. hmmm im hungry i think i still have a muffin in my locker so im going to check that after this period and eat it if i do. should i put my livejournal public or leave it private so only people that are on my friends list can view it??

Sweet

this is so kick ass i am bypassing everything in the schools system like e-mails i can get into and foamy adn everythign so cool i am worign on myslpace and beign able to read bloggs now its not giogn well biut i will be able to do it yep yep. i went to the play last night with t1,t2 and jason it was alot of fun the play was good but last eyasrs had better voices my stephers did an awesome job, go you babe! well i dont knwo how long the period is so i am going to go. i wan to go to cd wearhouse adn pick up some cds. gatta do that in the near future. im thirsty for starbucks coffee yep. well anyways bye bye